Clublinefootball's Blog

Where do you start? How good were Portsmouth or how poor were Liverpool?

I won’t bother rehashing the match itself, needless to say Portsmouth were the best side and deserved to win. One of my favourite football clichés is The Wheels Have Come Off.
Well, Rafa’s motor is up on blocks, nobody saw who took the wheels and it looks like the MOT is out of date as well.

Liverpool are running out of excuses. The old chestnut about them relying on two players is wearing thin, especially when both of them are playing.

In contrast, Avram Grant seems to be working wonders at Portsmouth. They appear rejuvenated and ready to avoid the drop, which seemed inevitable only a few weeks ago.
The Great Escape’s on already and it’s not even Christmas.

Herbert Crespo, Clubline’s Christmas Tipper.

When the two inconsistency kings of the Premiership met last night the outcome was exactly what you’d have expected – unexpected.

Spurs emerged victorious, winning three nil, and in truth it was the proverbial stroll for them.

Man City looked like a bunch of, admittedly very talented and successful, painters and decorators who play on Sundays and didn’t know each other very well, didn’t speak the same language, and were feeling the cold.

Errr…. apart from the painters and decorators bit….

Robinho appeared ineffective. I don’t think he likes the cold very much. Perhaps Mark ought to consider thermal underwear for him. If you’re a City fan, I’m not sure how happy you’ll be to hear his recent avowal to stay until hell freezes over. Is there a Batmanho out there to come to his aid as the nights draw in?

Adebayor looked more Adafewpintsbefor and even the normally effervescent Che Given looked like his Given had been Taken away. By the time the superb KrankedYaCar, KrammedCar, KrunchHire (oh you know who I mean) had slid the third through his splayed legs, his eff has definitely vesced.

To be fair, City were robbed of a clear penalty (another one for video evidence lobby) but irrespective of this, they were definitely second best. Makes you wonder how long Mark Hughes has got if they continue in this vein. A subject for another time perhaps.

Anyway, the result puts Harry’s Tottingham right back in the frame to break into the top four Champions League Cartel.

And no doubt pleases the Villa, as the chasing pack cancel each other out.

Ciao for now, Herbert Crespo.

What a weekend!

Apparently it was 1876 when Aston Villa last defeated Man United at Old Trafford. Queen Victoria was on the British throne and Sir Alex had just become the United manager. In truth, ManU were probably the better football team, despite Agbonlahor’s decisive first half header. Needless to say, Sir Alex looked apoplectic when the referee had the gall to only award a normal amount of extra time.

The Wrigley’s went into overdrive as the time was limited to that actually justified, as opposed to the period required for Manchester united to equalise. Shrek must obviously have contracted something from Ronaldo: the Football Diving Virus. It’s quite sad to see one of the most talented players in the English game resorting to a triple salco in order to gain advantage; the Continentals have a got a lot to answer for.

Liverpool fans continue to disconsolately ask the question ‘Where’s Shavi Alonshow gone?’.
Far, far away…like the good times. On Sunday, as the Gunners proceeded to inflict more pain on the befuddled Benitez and his band of not so merry men, Alonso was actually in the stand, having a day off from his new club, watching the Anfield horror show unfold. I’m sure Gerard looked at the stand a couple of times. Probably considering whether he could get him down onto the pitch.

Chelsea and Manchester City both managed to secure unlikely, and no doubt disappointing, draws. It’s good to see such wealth delivering a healthy dose of football mediocrity.
Poor old Spurs. Inconsistency incarnated into flesh. Harry watches his boys bang in nine goals one week and then shudder into a miserable defeat under the not so mighty Wolves onslaught.

The most unusual football pundit pairing of the week has to go to ESPN. Kevin Keegan, looking like a particularly vigorously used toilet brush, resplendent with silver bristle cut, and Ugo Ehiogu, looking suspiciously like Bob Marley these days, offered some unmissable insights. More please.

They’ll still be celebrating in the Midlands this weekend. Perhaps we all should – it’s shaping up to be the most unpredictable, exciting, and refreshing Premiership soccer season so far.

Posted By Herbert Crespo, Clubline Football’s Roving Commentator.